5 Things I NEED From Orange Is The New Black

By Matilda Douglas-Henry

I know I’ve been critical of queer portrayals in television in the past, but it’s time to get real.

There is no better show that captures the nuances and complexity of queerness than Jenji Kohan’s riotous, romping, rollicking and revolutionary Orange is the New Black.

What began as a pretty rudimentary narrative – privileged white girl spends a year in prison away from her sensitive bro fiancee and Park Slope luxuries – has transpired into a killer ensemble comedy that handles race, religion, sexuality and misogyny with deft and intelligence. The writers actually listened to their audience – less Piper, more Crazy Eyes – developing each character into the next installment of “this person doesn’t even need to be real; they’re my best friend anyway”. And for such a powerful portrayal of humanity to exist purely within the walls of a minimum security prison? The formula is nothing short of genius.

I am only one episode deep into season four (OITNB being one of the few good shows Australian Netflix will actually let us access), and after last year’s epic finale I’ve got a lot of hopes and dreams for the imminent episodes.

Here are a few things I hope we’ll get to see (if you haven’t seen the last season of OITNB or the season four premiere: SPOILER ALERT).

1. The romantic reunion of Alex and Piper

Ah, Palex. Alper. Chause. Vapman – whatever portmanteau you want to give them, this is an iconic queer pairing for the ages. Even my mum has a major crush on the inimitable Alex Vause, and I’m so relieved that the season four premiere reveals that she is indeed alive. It is a relatively contentious wish of mine – many viewers get fed up with this romance that to’s and fro’s as much as a high-speed tennis match. But I’m an absolute sucker for their chemistry – it’s ferocious (they do kind of hate each other, after all), but is paradoxically imbued with some puppy-eyed high school naïveté. I watch the season three scene where Piper asks Alex to be her girlfriend at least thrice a week.

2. A backstory for Yoga Jones

It’s pretty easy to love Yoga Jones. We meet her in season one as an overly serene yoga teacher and carer of the new inmates; making it hard to understand why she’d be in Litchfield at all. The devastating realisation that she accidentally killed a child establishes her as one of the more unique and conflicted characters – but she’s never given as much airtime as the lovesick Morello or the feisty Taystee. Considering how the backstories often generate surprises about our most beloved prisoners, I’d love to get a glimpse of Yoga Jones’s roots.

3. The return of Nicky Nichols and Sophia

Nicky’s departure midway through last season was nothing short of a shock. She was always a major fan favourite, with Natasha Lyonne as somewhat of a lynchpin in queer pop culture. My profound disdain for Luschek kicked in at full gear when he blamed Nicky for the hidden stash of heroin, which resulted in her getting shipped off to maximum security. Lyonne’s name is appearing in the credits again this season, so I am hopeful.

I fail to remember why Sophia was in solitary in the first place (I want to say something to do with Daya’s mum?), but I know it was breaking my heart, and it continues to do so. The season four premiere alone doesn’t feel quite right without her quick wit, incredible features and big heart. Here’s hoping she returns sooner rather than later.

4. A relationship development for Pennsatucky and Big Boo

Forming unlikely friendships and flirtations within their slew of deeply likeable characters is arguably what OITNB does best. One of the strongest elements of last season was the allegiance of Pennsatucky and Big Boo – particularly how Boo offers her strong, tattooed shoulder to lean on after Pennsatucky is raped by the putrid Charlie Coates. I would love to see their relationship develop even further – in an ideal world, they’d be prison wives with feeling. I’m thinking Nicky and Morello 2.0.

5. New inmates that are here to stay

Introducing new characters that quickly gain a fanbase is a challenge for any television show. OITNB has done a pretty good job of it so far. I have a lot of time for Lori Petty’s Lolly, who is how I imagine Ellen Degeneres would be if she was a conspiracy theorist who was subsequently incarcerated. And who could forget our own Ruby Rose, whose brief stint as Stella caused those who hadn’t been privy to her prior Channel V and DJ-ing antics to totally lose the plot over her face. But I would love to see the overcrowding of Litchfield result in some killer new characters that will make their mark. Someone similar to season two’s villainous Vi would throw a real spanner in the works – especially considering Piper’s cringeworthy tirade that she is “gangsta with an A” after getting Stella carted off to max.

Orange is the New Black is streaming now on Netflix. Here’s hoping for the rekindling of old romances and the blossoming of new ones, the return of fan favourites, and, how could I forget: endless amounts of Poussey Washington.