COMING OUT IN CANBERRA AT 13

By Mike Hitch

My name is Michael and when I was 13 years old I came out to my family.

In my young life and especially while growing up, there was always suspicions of that I was gay. I didn’t realise it myself until the early age of 12 when all of the boys and girls in my year stopped worrying about germs and started to press themselves up against each other. This was the moment of clarity when I discovered that girls were definitely not my thing. In fact, I remember my longest heterosexual relationship in year 7 lasted a whole 18 hours.

Then came the next step: telling my friends. My greatest fear was possibly having to explain or rationalise my sexuality. However, the first person I told hugged me and told me that there was nothing wrong with me. She was the first true sign of acceptance (outside of my supportive family) that I had experienced.

When I was ready to come out, I was 13. Pretty young, I know, but by then I think half of my year was well aware. Plus I figured that there was no need to act oblivious, that would just make me look like a gay moron. So I sat my parents down and I blurted out the same famous (and rather boring) quote “I am Gay”. My Dad and Mum looked me directly in the eye and both said “mkay” in a casual tone that sounded like they honestly didn’t give a f#$@ what I was because they knew I was still the exact same person. I think they’d have been more surprised if I’d told them I was going to clean my room.

The response afterwards was… actually really good. After I came out to my family and friends, basically the entire school knew too and it seemed like they didn’t care. They might not have cared, but they sure did stare. It seemed that coming out made me the newest exhibit at school. I can’t count how many times I walked past a group of silent people only to have them burst into whispers when they couldn’t see my face.

To be fair, nobody said anything mean. I’d just hear the occasional whisper of “Is he sure that he’s… you know” or “But it isn’t homophobia if…” (my personal favourite) from both students and teachers. However, it could’ve been, much worse than and to this day I count myself lucky that I wasn’t one of the many LGBTIQ youth that have found themselves on the receiving end of bullying.

Which leads me to the discussion of growing up in Canberra. Now, there are two ways to look at Canberra, a progressive country town or a progressive small city. Either waysize doesn’t matter… what matters is that Canberra is a place of true acceptance.

Sure, we do have Tony Abbott lingering around us like a bigoted storm cloud, but that doesn’t mean that the people of this town aren’t accepting of the LGBTIQ community. Canberra’s rather small size means that the LGBT community doesn’t have the luck of places like Oxford Street, a place where the LGBT community can thrive. However, Canberra gives something better than an entire street, Canberra gives the LGBT community an entire city.

It’s nice to know that while Canberra is really just a large suburbia, there is also so much diversity within its wooden fences. Like the dog walk group where I have met many lesbian couples who were simultaneously amazing and normal… they were all just normal couples with normal lives and normal problems.

That doesn’t mean that the LGBTIQ community in Canberra isn’t known to have not faced abuse over the years. This is why services like Qnet or social groups like A Gender Agenda; provide invaluable support to LGBTIQ youth in Canberra. As well as the Many Great people in Canberra who are allied with the LGBT community who I am glad to say I can call my friends. People like Angie Shillington, Ally Howe and Ciara Scott who have even gone as far as to create the Youth Organised Walk for Marriage Equality which will occur on the 26th of July in Canberra.

These girls have created such an important stepping-stone for Canberra and have shown that our small city can show true morals and acceptance. It is why I’m proud to born in Canberra and proud to call each of these three girls my allies.

So in summary, life as a gay person can be pretty… normal. I was lucky to be accepted and I will never forget how amazing it is to feel accepted by the people that I love the most for being me.

Mike.

COMING OUT RESOURCES – QNET A Gender Agenda Minus18 Camp Out