UMMM… SO ROLF HARRIS IS RELEASING A NEW ALBUM AND IT’S CALLED ‘JUSTICE FOR ALL’

By James Branson

Rolf Harris is reportedly planning a comeback album from his jail cell, where he’s serving time for a series of sexual assaults – one of which was on a seven year old girl.

He’s told friends (he still has those????) and family that he plans to call the album Justice For All. 

Granted, the report comes from unnamed sources speaking to British Newspaper The Sun – not exactly a paragon of journalistic virtue – so perhaps it should be taken with a grain of salt.

“Music is helping Rolf survive prison. But rather than keeping his material to himself, he… has every intention of releasing it.”

No doubt under some illusion that people would be interested in discussing the finer points of Rolf’s new sound, the source went on to say that “the stuff has rockier influences than the music he’s known for.”

Harris is eligible for parole in 2017 – although seeing as a condition of parole is showing remorse for your actions, the national embarrassment might have some trouble there. Since the accusations came to light, Harris has written a song called Woodworm Women about his victims that includes the line “come and join the feeding frenzy, girls.”