So what’s it really like in a gay bathhouse?

By James Branson

Bathhouses have always really fascinated me. The fact that there is a place where you pay around 20 bucks to have access to a smorgasbord of people you’ve never even met before and who are all DTF is amazing. Perhaps because I’m bisexual, and I only recently came out, having a safe place to get down, out of sight of the general public, has always been rather enticing.

The subject is rarely brought up in conversation, however, probably because there’s still some unwarranted shame attached to anonymous sex in the gay community. Stephen Fry got into a bit of trouble a few years back when he claimed that gay bathhouses and cruising areas were evidence that straight women don’t enjoy sex as much as men.

So to get the low-down on exactly what goes down, I spoke to a friend, Ben, who’s a regular at Sydney’s bathhouses.

How often do you go to bathhouses?

Pretty much whenever I’m in the city. I head in for work every few days, and if I have a spare hour or two I’ll go to either Sydney Steam, which is in the city, or a place near Taylor Square called Bodyline. If I’m in the city having a big night I often end up there too.

Ok, so take me through the routine…

You pay at the door – it’s usually around $25. You’re given a locker key and a towel. You head over to the locker and get undressed, and put on the towel. First things first – you’ve have to shower. There’ll usually be a row of open showers there, which also serve as a place where you can see if there’s anybody nice looking who you might want to hook up with. At both Sydney Steam and Bodyline, there’s this open area when you first enter that has showers and a steam room and sauna.

Is having a shower mainly a hygiene thing? 

Yeah. I don’t really want to have sex with a guy who’s all gross and sweaty.

So what happens next?

Personally, I usually go for the steam-room to relax a little and see if there’s anyone who might be keen.

How many guys are usually in the steam room?

Depends on the day. Sydney City Steam in the city has a ‘foam party’ each Sunday, where they put heaps of foam in the steam room. There’s usually up to thirty or forty guys there. But most of the time there’s about five to ten guys in there.

Are there often people having sex in the more open areas?

Very rarely in the open area… but in the steam room and sauna – yes. I was in Melbourne once and went to a bathhouse called Wet On Wellington. I think it was late on a Saturday night and the whole steam room was absolutely packed with guys having sex. It was like one big heaving mass of people.

Did you participate?

On that occasion, no. I sometimes do, but it can get a bit exhausting. Also, not everybody uses condoms in there, which is a bit scary – I always insist on anyone I’m fucking using a condom.

It sounds pretty amazing though. I really like the idea of group sex – the more the merrier. Surely seeing that many guys going at it is a turn on…

Yeah, it is. Like I said, the idea of being around that many guys all fucking and sucking is really enticing, but in reality it’s a bit exhausting. I don’t really have the energy to be in there for longer than a fifteen minutes!

Ok. So you’ve checked out the steam room – where to next?

If there’s not much happening – or if there’s too much happening – I’ll go into the sauna. Usually there’s not as much action there, because it’s a sauna and it’s really, really hot. Like you start sweating just sitting there. But it’s good for checking out if there are any guys you might want to hook up with.

How do you know if a guy wants to hook up? Do you just say “hi, wanna fuck”?

Haha, no. Usually you just sit close and make eye contact, start stroking your dick a bit (laughs). Maybe smile. Subtle hints.

Sitting close by and stroking your dick doesn’t seem subtle.

Haha yeah maybe not.

Do you start hooking up right there?

Sometimes. Depends on how horny you are I guess. I often do. If there’s a guy I like in the steam room or the sauna I’ll start making out with them and fooling around. If we’re feeling really horny, we might even just have sex right there.

In front of everyone?

Sometimes. But if there’s too many other guys in the room we’ll take it elsewhere.

Is being able to have sex in a public place part of the turn on?

Definitely – for me anyway. I like the idea of having sex with other people watching. Obviously everyone is different though.

Ok. Where were we? So you’re hooking up with somebody in the steam room or sauna…

Yeah. So sometimes we’ll just hook up for a while and leave it at that. Sometimes actual sex happens there, and sometimes we’ll decide to go to one of the private rooms.

Wait a second… If you’re hooking up with a guy in the sauna or steam room, do any other guys ever try to join in?

Yeah all the time!

Do you let them?

Sometimes. If they’re hot or if I’m really horny. I like group sex every now and then. A lot of guys who go to bathhouses are into it.

Do you ever have guys you don’t like try to join in?

Yeah, all the time.

How do you stop the unwanted attention?

Usually just of swipe their hands away or say ‘no thanks’.

Does that happen often?

Not really. Everyone is really polite actually! On occasion I’ve had to tell somebody quite sternly to go away… It’s not a big deal though.

Ok. So sometimes you’ll meet somebody in the sauna and you’ll like each other and then go up to a private room?

Yeah, that’s usually what happens. Pretty much every bathhouse worth going to has a bunch of private rooms. My preference is for threesomes though – I can hook up with just one guy anytime. I like getting a couple of guys and going into a room. It’s really fun.

What if you don’t find any guys in the sauna or steam room?

Usually you go to the area with all the private rooms. It’s like a maze and there’s always a lot of men there just walking around, seeing who they like. Often there’ll be men standing around outside a room. You go up to them, check them out, they’ll check you out. Sometimes you touch their junk to make sure they’ve got a decently sized cock! Now that I’m talking about it the whole dance and all the weird etiquette is pretty funny.

How do you know if they’re a top or a bottom? 

I just ask. I’m a bottom, and sometimes it’s actually hard to tell. That whole cliche of big, hairy guys being tops and slender, twinky guys being bottoms is bullshit. It’s really hard to tell. Sometime you’ll get this huge, muscled daddy who just loves getting fucked in the ass.

Ok, so you walk around the maze area and just find a guy – or guys – you like. 

Yep.

What are the logistics behind getting more than one guy in the private room?

Personally, I’m just very direct. I just tell the guy to leave the door open so someone else can have a peek and if I like them, they can come in and play.

What are the safe-sex practises like?

I always make sure my partner or partners are wearing condoms. If they refuse I get out of there as soon as possible. You can also get tested at most bathhouses these days.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen?

There’s another place in Melbourne, I’ve forgotten the name. It’s on Flinders street I think. They have these rooms with windows so other people can watch. Inside one of the rooms were four guys, two tops and two bottoms. The bottoms were getting fisted, really hard. Both tops were wearing dishwashing gloves!! The bottoms were just lying on the bed, asses up, watching porn together and sniffing amyl. I walked in just out of curiosity and realised they were all completely off their faces. Like really, really high. It was pretty nuts.

Have you ever ran into somebody on the street that you’ve hooked up with in the bathhouse?

Nope, never happened! That would be awkward. Like ‘hey, how do I know you…. Oh. Oh yeah, right”.