There is a Donald Trump gay erotica novel and it’s amazing

By Heaps Gay Staff

All your fantasies have come true with an erotic novel about Donald Trump in which the billionaire and leading candidate for the Republican nomination for President (can’t believe I’m saying that) falls in love with a bellboy from Michigan.

After putting the idea out there on Twitter, (“I’m going to get drunk tonight and write an entire donald trump sex novel like 50 shades of grey & put it on amazon tomorrow i swear to god”), comedian Elijah Daniel finished the novel in around ten hours and suddenly saw his sensual fantasy rocket to number 1 on Amazon’s gay erotica charts and a whopping fourth in the overall erotica chart.

The novel has some absolutely cracking lines, including “his ass flapped behind him like a mouth-watering stack of pancakes. And my hunger for pancakes had never been stronger,” as well as “the door creaked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrot with fake hair”, and: “He stood there in front of me, like a tall stallion. With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy cheeto, his hair unkempt and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest.”

Brilliant.