A GIF Guide To Having A Panic Attack At Work

By Samuel Leighton-Dore

For those of us blessed enough to struggle with ongoing anxiety and/or panic disorders, maintaining steady employment can be a bit of a fucking bitch; particularly when working in an open office environment or customer service.

For those stuck with a healthier spectrum of less rampant emotions, let me give you a vague idea of what it’s like.

First you feel a gentle niggling in your chest, your heart rate is escalating and you can’t work out why. Uh-oh. It’s happening again.

You feel your body shifting into the defensive primal throes of fight-or-flight.

A colleague or customer notices the unmistakable fear of death in your eyes and asks how you’re feeling. What you want to say is…

But instead you somehow manage to pull a sincere-ish smile out of God-knows-fucking-where.

But they’re not convinced. They press on, all oblivious and good-intentioned and stuff. “Are you sure?”

They finally leave, glancing over their shoulder with a concerned look of “WTF, I thought you were normal”. Finally, you’re alone with your panic.

But then you see another person approaching in your peripheral.

You can’t take it. You turn your face to the ground and immediately head for the toilets, breathing real fucking deep and trying to do that mindfulness thing that everyone keeps ranting and raving about.

You finally make it into the cubicle.

You sit on the toilet with your pants up, which feels weird at first, and start arguing with your own head, which feels totally normal.

Okay, you’re back at your desk. You’ve managed to lower your heart rate a tad. Manageable. Good for you, you say to yourself. You’re going to be fine. That is, until a friendly face approaches, someone you actually know and care about, and they ask if something’s wrong.

The walls are closing in. You’re probably having a heart attack. Fuckkkkkkkkk. You leave your desk and run for the street outside where the warm sun lands on your face  all fucking hell breaks loose.

You tell your boss there’s been an emergency and immediately seek an appointment with the closest medical professional. You jump the cue and cut the crap.

Although a healthier option might be this:

Either way, you arrive back at work and resume your seat. It’s over. You survived.