“I’ve never met a homophobe”: Liberal Backbencher

By James Branson

WA Liberal Backbencher Luke Simpkins has made the startling revelation today that he’s never met a homophobe, despite being in the same party as Corey Bernadi, who last year equated same-sex marriage with bestiality. 

Attacking Labor leader Bill Shorten for “name calling”, Mr Simpkins claimed he’d “never met anyone that displays an extreme or irrational fear of homosexuality.”

“I have an army background and a sporting background, and never have I met anyone who has such fears.”

Dunno why he decided to use his army and sporting backgrounds as evidence of never having encountered homophobia, given that a 2013 study concluded it was rife in the Australian Defence Forces and so far, very few high profile sportspeople have come out as gay. 

Mr Simpkins is the latest Liberal backbencher to express concern for the entirely reasonable Safe Schools program, that teaches kids to be more accepting and empathetic towards peers whose sexuality or gender might be a little different. 

Yesterday, Tasmanian MP Brett Whitelely (not the artist, unfortunately) declared it to be an “extraordinarily dangerous program”.

“We all want safer schools. Yet the incongruence between the title and objectives of the Safe Schools Coalition program and what is actually taught and, importantly, how it is taught is remarkable and confronting,” he said.

“This is state sanctioned and state funded social engineering at its worst.”