How Not To Crowdfund A Political Campaign

By Samuel Leighton-Dore

Disclaimer: This will be the first and last time you’ll read the name Diane Teasdale on this website. That is, barring some completely gross and unforeseeable Trump-esque rise to social/political relevance.

In fact, I’m only writing this article in case our readers needed a lesson in how not to fund a fledgling political campaign; a subject on which Diane Teasdale, independent candidate for Murray, should without question hold a university masterclass.

Teasdale managed to ruffle the feathers of the entire Australian LGBTQI community late last week by posting an evocative call-to-action on Facebook. Of course, generally speaking, calls to action involve a call inspiring some form of united action in-line with the caller’s personal beliefs or ideas for change. See below.

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Not our Diane, though.

With Teasdale being the true political radical the Australian people don’t know her to be, she opted instead for an alternative to the boring traditional notion of a “call-to-action”, settling on the kind in which one out-of-touch person shares an incredibly obnoxious and ignorant message of hate and inspires absolutely nothing but public backlash and ridicule.

For those who might’ve missed the post, it looked a little something like this:

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The post went on for a while, including the occasional golden nugget:

“Why are some homosexuals so adamant that they want the right to marry? From my observation only a very small percentage of homosexuals are fighting for this right, while most would prefer to just get on with their life with as little hassle as possible.”

Now, while Teasdale and Donald Trump might share luscious locks of auburn hair and more than a few political views, one thing separating them is their bank account balance. Namely, their ability to self-fund their own campaigns. While Trump has likely pumped tens-of-millions into his Presidential campaign, Diane has managed only $10 in the mighty quest for Murray.

After gaining what is likely to be the most public attention she’ll ever receive, it’s surfaced that Teasdale is attempting to crowdfund $5000.00 for her campaign, most likely to cover the costs associated with printing homophobic drivel on pamphlets at Office Works.

However, 25 days deep into her ambitious cash-drive and Diane looks like she’s dancing with herself at her own party.

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I am standing in the coming election to give the people someone to vote for who is authentic, genuine and who is prepared to put Australia and Australians first.

I am raising enough money to pay for a campaign so I can print and deliver pamphlets, get posters made and print how to vote cards.

Help me get the word out to the people who care and want a voice that is a voice for Australians.

I will need this money to be available in the next few weeks so I can achieve as much as possible as soon as possible.

What the crowdfunding campaign lacks in actual funds, though, it more than makes up for in comments of support. Just look at a few of our personal faves.

Screen Shot 2016-06-20 at 7.16.03 PMBless.

I suppose the real lesson here is that bigotry and hate rarely inspire the generous support (be it political or financial) of strangers.

However, Diane, if you do ever choose to run that masterclass on shooting yourself in the foot, give us a buzz.

We’ll be sure put something up on Facebook.

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