20 times Waylon Smithers was your gay icon

By Samuel Leighton-Dore

My boyfriend has always lived his day-to-day life by the firm belief that there’s a perfect and hilarious Simpsons quote or reference to match every possible scenario life can throw at you.

And for him, there usually is.

But what about for all those middle-aged, semi-closeted, doll-collecting gay men harboring a deep and unrequited love for their elderly millionaire bosses? Where are their proud moments of narrative-to-life alignment? What are their one-liners? Who are their animated heroes?

What about them?

Thankfully, we can all rest a little easier after Smithers finally came out in an episode of The Simpsons this week.

For Waylon Smithers, the journey to breaking free of the figurative closet has been a long and trying one; rife with fan/media speculation and less-than-subtle sex dreams featuring unlikely daddy-icon Monty Burns.

Poignantly, the highly-anticipated episode was written by longtime Simpsons writer Rob LaZebnik – a tribute to his own 21-year-old son, Johnny, who recently came out as gay.

To celebrate this wonderful milestone, we’ve compiled a list of the twenty most memorable occasions Smithers drank a little too much Gaytorade and slipped-up on his decidedly hetero facade, leaving us all feeling a little less alone.

1. When you’re pumping iron at the gym and that song comes on.

2. When your straight mates drag you to Kings Cross (obviously circa 2013).

3. When you’re feeling yourself something fierce and someone hands you a candy-pink whip.

4. When you and your work crush sneak a lunch-break drink on Friday.

5. Mastering the fine art of forehead foreplay…

6. When you’ve just hit the Salvos out West and can’t wait to show off your winnings.

7. Daydreaming about that guy you’ve been getting mixed signals from.

8. When you go a little overboard on Valentines Day.

9. When you get drunk on approval and whiskey.

10. When Netflix and Chill actually turns out to be Netflix and Chill…

11. When you look so good that bae just wants to eat you up.

  12. When your friends ask about your Tinder date.

13. Second-date flirting…

14. Them sneaky movie date leg rubs…

15. When you’re star-gazing and you just know that now’s the right time…

16. Date: “Where do you see yourself in twenty years?”

17. When yo man drops in on a dream…

18. And it feels so good…

19. That you get that magical exploding sensation down there…

20. And you think you might finally get your happy ending.