Viagra can cure malaria now?

By Heaps Gay Staff

Amazing news: In a study conducted by the Pasteur Institute in France, researchers have discovered that your dick isn’t the only thing that Viagra keeps rigid: it also stiffens the malaria parasite, making it harder for the disease to be transmitted.

Malaria normally spreads so easily because the infected blood cells are as soft and mushy as healthy cells, which means the spleen doesn’t recognise them as being infected, and let’s them pass through the body unhindered.

Treating the cells with Viagra makes them ‘hard’ – which means the spleen recognises the infected cells and clears them out.

Since storming the world pharmaceutical market in the nineties, Viagra has been discovered to have some curious benefits. It can be used to lower blood pressure and helps with altitude sickness. The drug has also been used to help shrink a massive, life-threatening tumour on a young boy.

So next time you’re on the tourist trail in a country with high Malaria infections and you see a guy with a massive boner, you know he’s safely inoculated.